It is hard to let go of our anger or hurt from the past and we can see this seeping into our relationships, work situations, family life and dreams. Forgiveness is not always easy because the mind can constantly go back to the wrongs the other person did to injure us. Forgivess is the greatest gift that you can give to yourself.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what the person did was right. It is really a tool for you to not be living with a level of anger, resentment or bitterness that holds your own life back. Think about it in relation to your own healing. Forgiveness will help you cut out all those nights of internal dialogues fantasizing about revenge and various forms of justice. It will help you create new relationships in your life that include trust, care and nurturance.

Sometimes it is helpful to visualize why certain people behaved the way they did. We can’t always feel compassion for someone who hurt us, but we can see that they may have had a family pattern they repeated and were just part of that cycle themselves having little insight. This may have made them act unconsciously and you were in their pathway. Perhaps they will never break out of their reactions, but you have an opportunity to break out of your own.

Fortunately, we don’t have to live with negative emotions and feelings such as  depression, anger, resentment, as we gain more insight. It can be helpful to read spiritual books or books by Tibetan monks who were able to forgive their torturers. For example, the Holiness the Dalai Lama, who has been in exile, constantly talks about forgiveness and compassion. Some of us are not as enlightened as the world’s spiritual leaders, but we can learn from their teachings. The Bible itself has scriptures on forgiveness. The beautiful thing about forgiveness is that you don’t have to belong in a specific religion to forgive.  It is a human thing, it transcends religion or dogma

Is it really that hard to forgive? If we dedicate ourselves to forgive others, then the process will not be that hard. The desire has to come from within. Picture yourself ten years from now. Will you continue to harbor feelings of anger and resentment? Do you want to be a bitter person? Or do you want to let your softness, nurturance and loving nature return once again and have the full life you are supposed to live? If you want to move on with your life and get past the hurt and pain that people inflict on you, forgiveness is the key.